{"id":2604,"date":"2023-01-31T08:47:26","date_gmt":"2023-01-31T13:47:26","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/mm.kapn.net\/index.php\/2023\/01\/31\/pretending\/"},"modified":"2023-01-31T08:47:26","modified_gmt":"2023-01-31T13:47:26","slug":"pretending","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/mm.kapn.net\/index.php\/2023\/01\/31\/pretending\/","title":{"rendered":"Pretending"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>It\u2019s a little like \u201cfake it \u2018til you make it\u201d but with more unjustifiable hope and less determination. At least, that\u2019s true for me in this moment. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Feeling pretty miserable about the state of my body as I deal with the surgical aftermath of rectal cancer. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Probably more surgery in my future, but for this minute I\u2019d like to just feel ok and have and espresso and a danish at my local. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Or maybe pretending is more like a prayer to yourself when you no longer have someone to pray to. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Amen. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"768\" height=\"1024\" src=\"https:\/\/mm.kapn.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/01\/8c42cfdd-c99d-4c29-bb8e-68d9990c6d71-72820-00002bdb67efb57a_file-768x1024.jpg\" class=\"wp-image-2603\" srcset=\"https:\/\/mm.kapn.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/01\/8c42cfdd-c99d-4c29-bb8e-68d9990c6d71-72820-00002bdb67efb57a_file-768x1024.jpg 768w, https:\/\/mm.kapn.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/01\/8c42cfdd-c99d-4c29-bb8e-68d9990c6d71-72820-00002bdb67efb57a_file-225x300.jpg 225w, https:\/\/mm.kapn.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/01\/8c42cfdd-c99d-4c29-bb8e-68d9990c6d71-72820-00002bdb67efb57a_file-1152x1536.jpg 1152w, https:\/\/mm.kapn.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/01\/8c42cfdd-c99d-4c29-bb8e-68d9990c6d71-72820-00002bdb67efb57a_file-scaled.jpg 1536w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 768px) 100vw, 768px\" \/><\/figure>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>It\u2019s a little like \u201cfake it \u2018til you make it\u201d but with more unjustifiable hope and less determination. At least, that\u2019s true for me in this moment. Feeling pretty miserable about the state of my body as I deal with the surgical aftermath of rectal cancer. Probably more surgery in my future, but for this&hellip;&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2602,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"neve_meta_sidebar":"","neve_meta_container":"","neve_meta_enable_content_width":"","neve_meta_content_width":0,"neve_meta_title_alignment":"","neve_meta_author_avatar":"","neve_post_elements_order":"","neve_meta_disable_header":"","neve_meta_disable_footer":"","neve_meta_disable_title":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1,27],"tags":[248,61],"class_list":["post-2604","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-coffee","category-ramblings","tag-health","tag-mental-health"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/mm.kapn.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/01\/img_3538-scaled.jpg","pbg_featured_image_src":{"full":["https:\/\/mm.kapn.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/01\/img_3538-scaled.jpg",2048,2048,false],"thumbnail":["https:\/\/mm.kapn.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/01\/img_3538-150x150.jpg",150,150,true],"medium":["https:\/\/mm.kapn.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/01\/img_3538-300x300.jpg",300,300,true],"medium_large":["https:\/\/mm.kapn.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/01\/img_3538-768x768.jpg",768,768,true],"large":["https:\/\/mm.kapn.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/01\/img_3538-1024x1024.jpg",1024,1024,true],"1536x1536":["https:\/\/mm.kapn.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/01\/img_3538-1536x1536.jpg",1536,1536,true],"2048x2048":["https:\/\/mm.kapn.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/01\/img_3538-2048x2048.jpg",2048,2048,true],"neve-blog":["https:\/\/mm.kapn.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/01\/img_3538-scaled.jpg",620,620,false]},"pbg_author_info":{"display_name":"kapn","author_link":"https:\/\/mm.kapn.net\/index.php\/author\/mm_admin\/","author_img":"<img alt='kapn' src='https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/d8e479fb96fd31e31371683cb63c9cc986de5a9d7d1c8cebfd39f5b4560f260a?s=128&#038;d=blank&#038;r=g' srcset='https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/d8e479fb96fd31e31371683cb63c9cc986de5a9d7d1c8cebfd39f5b4560f260a?s=256&#038;d=blank&#038;r=g 2x' class='avatar avatar-128 photo' height='128' width='128' loading='lazy' decoding='async'\/>"},"pbg_comment_info":" No Comments","pbg_excerpt":"It\u2019s a little like \u201cfake it \u2018til you make it\u201d but with more unjustifiable hope and less determination. At least, that\u2019s true for me in this moment. Feeling pretty miserable about the state of my body as I deal with the surgical aftermath of rectal cancer. Probably more surgery in my future, but for this&hellip;&nbsp;","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/paL6aj-G0","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/mm.kapn.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2604","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/mm.kapn.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/mm.kapn.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mm.kapn.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mm.kapn.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2604"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/mm.kapn.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2604\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mm.kapn.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/2602"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/mm.kapn.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2604"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mm.kapn.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2604"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mm.kapn.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2604"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}